My heart is breaking, and I can hardly see through the tears as I write this. I am so very sorry to have to tell you that we lost Lil Bit today. The picture above is her out on the range.
Matt and I were at a "meet and greet" with Honey Bandit, when I was called out on an injured horse emergency. While I was there, I called Shirley about the injured mare and this is what she told me. She could barely speak and I knew she was beyond devastated.
Shirley did what she promised and stayed with Lil Bit 24/7. She was watching Lil Bit and standing beside her in case she needed help while she was up and walking. All at once there was a "snapping noise" in Lil Bit's leg, and she crashed, pinning Shirley under her. It took about 40 minutes for Shirley to get free, but Lil Bit was done. She absolutely could not get up again. Doc was on his way and Lil Bit would be set free from the pain and suffering. No one was expecting this, especially not Doc, but apparently she blew out either her ligament or tendon and it was horribly clear that she cannot recover or have any type of quality of life.
We want to thank everyone who stepped up to help this little angel. As I sit here I am physically ill and the tears won't stop. Sometimes you wonder "why - why do we keep doing this?" Your heart is broken so many times that you think it may not keep beating, and it is nearly impossible to even breathe, the pain is so harsh. The worst part of it is that every time you lose one, it not only devastates you but brings back all the pain of each and every other one you have lost. Sometimes it is just too hard......
So now Lil Bit has had her last visit from Doc. He was gentle and kind when he freed her from her pain and this world that was so cruel to her, and she was wrapped in Shirley's arms, knowing only love and kindness while she left this world.
I remember being at Shirley's and watching her "run". She was awkward and clumsy, and oh so proud. The thing I will always remember is the look of life in her eyes. She wanted to be here and she enjoyed her little romps, never realizing she was "different". She had lots of spirit and spunk and she would give you "what for" if she decided she had enough. _This was not a sick little girl who was moping around. She "lived" in her own little fashion and played and ate and slept like a normal little one. She LOVED LIFE!_
The only thing left we can do is cry, and then make sure we are ready for the next baby that God puts in front of us. Sometimes I think we even fight harder (though that really is not possible) for the next one in honor of those that have been lost. In our world, they never stop coming. I know how devastating losing Lil Bit is for me, even though I only got to help take care of her a little bit now and then, but I know for Shirley it is like the day we lost Mav. Her world just ended (again) but she always keeps going......
We try so hard to make the right decisions, and according to everyone in the know, her vets, (2 separate opinions) and her Mom, she still had a chance. But today it was clear a different choice had to be made. And as much as it destroyed everyone involved, the right decision was made for Lil Bit.
Folks ask - how do you do it? But can anyone ever look one of these innocent creatures in the eyes and say "no - I won't help". I certainly don't know very many folks like that.
So our hearts will keep breaking, and we can only pray we have what it takes to save the next one.
Sending love and prayers for all the hearts that loved this little girl, and so many thanks for all who supported her, whether it be with love, prayers or donations.
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