This is not an easy one to write. Just a short time ago, Little Mister left this earth and joined his mother in heaven. I started the proverbial "why?", for about two seconds, and then I realized I knew why. I truly believe God puts us where we are supposed to be. We were supposed to spend these last two days with this beautiful colt, so he would die surrounded by love and peace and not alone and afraid. I am so thankful to the folks at Palomino Valley for allowing us to make his last few days a little less scary, especially after he had become an orphan.
Last night, Little Mister, (although he didn't feel too great), did have some fun. He got into everything in the "borrowed foal room", and immediately became our "son". After his temperature had spiked and Cat (Kindsfather) drove me through the night to get to Shirley's house to get meds, I was given a memory I will always treasure. As soon as I walked in the room and he heard my voice, he gave this tiny, kind of screechy little whinny and jumped to his feet. "Mommy was home". These are the moments that make what we do worth while when we have nights like this. He was quite the little talker and would whinny if we went into the other room for more than a few minutes. We shared a lot of love in a short time.
Little Mister was beautiful, but apparently when he was born there was some unknown problem. The vet was shocked that he was so sick after she did the blood work, because the test that shows whether a little one got his or her antibodies (through mommy's colostrum) came out so positive. She showed it to me several times because it was such a positive result. Today when I took him in, his gums were showing tinges of blue/purple, indicating that he was not getting enough oxygen. He had minimal gut sounds at best, and his heart rate was extremely high. His poor little heart was trying so hard to pump enough blood to get enough oxygen, but his tiny little lungs were too compromised. He had severe pneumonia, which can be so deadly to the tiny foals. If he had been born in the wild, most likely the stallion would have killed him, or the mares would have, or he would have been left behind, alone and scared, to suffer a horrible death. So although my heart is breaking, I am so thankful and feel so honored that we got to spend his last days with him. He knew he was surrounded by love, and although he was meant to leave this earth way too early, I know that it helped him for us to be there. We were with him until the end, and although it is so sad, it was also a huge blessing for him as the pneumonia had progressed so far. He simply could not get enough air.
We can't save every foal, although I wish we could, but we do everything we possibly can for every second that we have with them. I truly appreciate you all being part of this and sharing the good times and the not so easy times. I was asked if I was going to "take a break", but that isn't how it works. We celebrate the ones we can help, and mourn the ones that we can't, all the while knowing that at any second, another one might need us. I am grateful that this is where God wants me to be. There is so much joy in it, along with the heartbreak.
Take care and God Bless - and give your critters an extra hug!
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