Did you ever need to cry so badly that it hurt? I kind of feel like that right now. I am probably just too tired and emotionally drained, but today was just too hard.
I have mentioned that Honey Bandit's energy level is not where it should be, and that he keeps getting cast and I have to go turn him so he can get up. Well, today I took him to the vet. I wanted him to get a blood test as I am worried about him. Don't get me wrong. On the outside he is looking perfect. He eats all the time, his bodily functions seem to be working just fine and there is no real visible sign of any issues. But he is off. There is just something not quite right. He has been making this weird moaning?? Chesty sounding??? Noise when he eats or has his head down. I think I mentioned it before. It was scaring me and he didn't do that before. Now I understand that he has been through so much, and that his poor little body is very tired. But this is different...... We did the blood test and got very good news. His blood work all looks good. Yeah PTL for that one. But the thing that is making me so sad and a little scared is the fact that his lungs sound worse than they did two weeks ago. Both vets described his lungs as sounding "Harsh". They do not sound like he has pneumonia, but they definitely got worse over the last two weeks. He has been on this last antibiotic for a month now, and he was on a different before that. Now one of the reasons that this is particularly worrisome for me is this. Apparently a grown horse from the same place that HB came from died of a disease called Rhodococous. Apparently this is very rare for an adult horse to contract, but when this sick horse died and a neocropsy was performed, they found out that it died of Rhodococous. From what I was told, this adult horse would have had to have an immune deficiency to get sick from this and die, as it is normally a foal disease. The last time I was at the vet we had discussed the possibility that Honey Bandit actually had contracted this. Due to the fact that we put him on antibiotics immediately when I noticed him cough, it may have stunted the severity of his case. We are not sure, but we took x rays after he was already on an antibiotic, and it showed a light cloudiness. We had discussed the possibility that his lungs weren't worse because he had been on the meds and because of this we continued the antibiotics for this last month. But to find out today that his lungs are worse than two weeks ago in spite of being on the medicine was simply heartbreaking. I know that this is not a reason to panic, but I have known something was off and I guess I was really hoping to be proved wrong. It doesn't make sense for him to be worse. After talking to one of the foal rescues, she said that maybe he is just getting over it and this is the worst it will get. It is so hard not to know and so very scary. The vet told me to make sure I stay on top of taking his temp at least twice a day to monitor him, especially since he is no longer on antibiotics. This is critical as we don't know for sure what is happening. I am sorry this is not a happy note, but more like getting kicked in the chest. I also have to remember the fact that sometimes when a foal has been so damaged, things can go wrong unexpectedly. Please keep Honey Bandit in your prayers. As I said, he looks fabulous, and just seems to be a little bit under the weather on the surface. The best case scenario is that he will just start getting more energy and his lungs will clear up on their own. It's almost funny, after everything we have been through, this setback seemed almost over whelming. But I know he will continue to fight. He obviously will continue to need vet care and we will make sure that he gets it, but we can't do it without your prayers. Take care and God bless. Hugs and kisses from Honey Bandit.
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Here's the link to their programs. The first segment pertained to the Historic Hawes Farm; then the Honey Bandit segment! Slide the little motion/progress bar on the screen to find the starting point. It does not display a time meter.
And, of course, a point of info. which did not become realized-- that Honey Bandit would go to the Sacramento rally. Lots of rain and dangerous road conditions precluded his going with us. http://www.biztalk1400.com/Podcasts/oct16thshow.html Once again, I am listening to Honey Bandit munching away. It is cold, but not too bad. I think it is supposed to be in the 40's tonight. In the back ground I can also hear the radio interview we did a couple of weeks ago. Here is the link in case any of ya'll would like to hear it. Http://www.biztalk1400.com/Podcasts/oct16thshow.HTML
It is the second segment. I have started to print out Honey Bandit's "journey back to life" in pictures. I have to say I am actually in shock when I look at these photos. To date, I have never really cried, except for that one day at the vet. I told my hubby that he should know that one of these days I am going to start crying and probably won't stop for days. There is so much raw emotion waiting to bust out that it won't be pretty. When I looked at the pictures I realized something. I never ever really let myself see the reality and horror of his condition, in so much as I couldn't really see how close to death he was. If I had really "seen" his condition and acknowledged how unlikely it was for him to survive, I don't think we could have made it through all of this. Instead, as so many of you know first hand, you just take it one minute at a time. You can't think about tomorrow, or what may or may not happen. It is just a steady stream of doing whatever needs to be done. It is not that I didn't think about him dying or living, but I couldn't let the emotions pour out. If I had been "seeing" the horrors, I would have never stopped crying. So many women (and yes, even some of the men who visited), look at him or his previous pictures and would just cry. I even had some visitors who wanted to help but couldn't bear to see his condition. But I couldn't cry and still help him and pull him back to life at the same time. He needed positive energy, so if ya'll run into me and I start blubbering like an idiot, don't worry, cuz " it's a coming.". I have only printed a few pictures, a couple at Litchfield and in the trailer on the way home, so far. Little by little I am going to document his whole "journey" up to this point. (There are supposed to be some big changes coming up with BLM and what is happening with our wild horses, and Honey Bandit is changing the world of the roundups.) I remember when I saw HB's breast bone protruding out of his chest. I didn't even know what it was. It looked like something that didn't even belong on his body. Looking at the pictures you can see his spine and backbone sticking up out of his back. His ribs show so clearly you can count each individual one. It is amazing how quickly you can forget the horrors when you look at Honey Bandit today. The 100's of bites and wounds don't hardly show up at all. His hearing seems to be "back" most of the time. However, today I came home and for a few minutes again he seemed to hear nothing. But for the most part he can hear nearly everything as far as we can tell. His energy level is not where it should be, but since he is anemic, I guess that is to be expected. I am sure that his "supplement" will correct that issue. He is definitely perking up with a little more "mommy time". He and Patches play together as if they were the same size. It is pretty interesting to watch them. Patches still is the boss. But they both seem to make sure that neither one of them hurts the other one, at least so far. It would be really nice though, if they would realize that it is 11:33 p.m. And I need some sleep..... But apparently someone whispered in their ears that this is the absolute best time to play and make noise and kick and crash against the walls. Funny but Honey Bandit heard that little message just fine. I'm off to bed to try to get a little bit of sleep. 1:06 a.m. Boys were hungry and rowdy. Gave them a little snack and said a prayer that they will go to sleep after. I have to say that looking at HB's pix makes me appreciate all of you and everything you are doing to help Honey Bandit stay a success story. Without ya'll, he wouldn't be here. Sitting here listening to the horses munch their hay, there is a definite chill in the air. It is going to be a cold one tonight. After the rain, it always seems to get cold so fast. Honey Bandit is in his beautiful purple blanket, so he is warm and toasty. Patches is with him, but doesn't need a blanket. He looks like he has pajamas on, and his winter coat is coming in fast. All the horses seem to be gearing up for a very cold winter.
Spent some quality time with Honey Bandit today. We hung out in the yard and practiced lots of little things. He was looking very handsome after his brushing. Then I trimmed up Patches, Bubbles and his mommy, and last but not least, Honey Bandit got his first mani/pedi. (or for those guys that don't know what that is, he got his first manicure and pedicure). All of his "nails" were done. He stood very well considering there was nothing on his head. He only needed some filing and didn't actually need to be trimmed, but it was a very good first lesson. Not sure what happened, but can't seem to walk tonight. Guess my leg is pulling one of it's little numbers. So I am in my brace, all wrapped up and praying that tomorrow we are back to normal. (ha ha - as good as my "normal" is.) Kind of feels like there is a railroad spike jammed in my knee. Just fun times in my knee world. Always make sure you have a good doctor. I got tired of hearing Honey Bandit and Patches chewing on the wood between their bed and ours at 3:00 a.m. That is one of the ways that they like to wake me up. They know that as soon as I hear their teeth I am wide awake, even in those few instances that I am actually sleeping. So we are trying something new. I put some of my "rooster sauce" from my sushi on the boards. It was kind of cute, because they kept checking it out. Didn't seem to really bother them though. They sniffed a little bit and then walked away. We will see if it works tonight. For some reason they get the biggest kick out of "calling me" in the wee hours of the morning. Can't wait to see everyone's pix from the rally in Carson City. I bet we come up with some pretty good ones. "Kuto" took some amazing pix of the local wild horses. Honey Bandit keeps making these little moaning noises when he is eating. I spent hours yesterday listening to him and freaking out in case it was something bad. Apparently from what I could tell, he is just enjoying his food. But I am hoping to get a check up on Tuesday so we will know for sure that all is well. Have a wonderful day. Hugs from Honey Bandit and the rest of the critters Hi
Went to the rally in Carson City yesterday. We headed out about 4:00 a.m. In the pouring rain. Was a lovely drive, ha ha, but it finally started clearing up around Susanville. Arrived in plenty of time for the rally to "Save the Walker Lake Herd", and decided to grab a bite to eat. I have to say that I was so excited as we were going to meet Richard "Kudo" Couto. I had met him on the phone, but we were now going to see him face to face. He has been working tirelessly to shut down the illegal (horse) slaughter houses in Miami Dade, Florida. Unfortunately, the conditions and practices in those illegal slaughter houses make the legal ones look like a party. The cruelty is unmentionable, and he risks his life to stop them once and for all. He was worked extensively with CNN and is making a huge difference for our beloved horses. He is now helping us in our fight to stop the BLM Round Ups. So it was an honor to meet him in person. There were so many incredible people there. It is truly wonderful to be working with such amazing people. Cat Kindsfather was there, as well as Ginger, the beautiful lady keeping tabs on Cloud and his herd. It was beyond heartwarming to get to see Shirley Allen, one of my beloved mentors, in person. We have spent many a night and early morning on the phone trying to figure out the best care for the orphan foals. There were other advocates too numerous to mention. It looks like there could be some changes in the future. According to Bob Abbey, it is going to happen. We keep praying that this is the truth.. Honey Bandit has been a tad "under the weather". He almost seems to have the "blues". He is eating all the time and his bodily functions are working well, but he is just a little off. His energy level is not what it should be. After talking with some of my other "foal rescue" friends, we came to the conclusion that maybe he has been missing his mommy. The last two weeks I have been busier than normal, and although he is never alone, I think maybe the fact that I wasn't with him as much was really hard on him. I guess it makes sense as he already lost his other "mom". They bond so tightly with their bands, and have been know to risk their own lives for their family members. (A good example of that was the band that came back to wait for their fallen mare in spite of the helicopter trying to push them on.) I guess my focus this week will be to make sure he has more "mommy" time, and he will also be going to the vet for a check up and some more blood work to make sure there is nothing else going on. He is really enjoying having Patches around all the time. They rough house as though they were the same size and just have a ball. They remind me of my boys when they were younger and always messing with each other. I am trying to get a picture of Honey Bandit when he pounds his foot on Patches' back. It would also be quite entertaining for ya'll if I could get the pictures when Patches torments HB when he is trying to sleep. I guess having to take care of the little miniature baby, "Bubbles" is a blessing in disguise. Of course between the medications and Patches and HB playing all night means no sleep again. But that is okay. Please say a prayer that HB cheers right up and that everything continues to go well for him. We love meeting all his visitors and appreciate all your support. God Bless - Honey Bandit. p.s. We still need to get his nursery built. In the meantime we are trying to get the carport as warm and dry for now as we can. But I am not sure if it will be warm enough for him when the weather really gets ugly. It is so scary when their immune systems have been so compromised. I have also been advised by many in the foal rescue field that he may never have a "proper" immune system. But we will just take it one day at a time. Hi ya'll
Just a quick update as we have to get up about 3:30 a.m. To go to Carson City for the protest. We have a new addition, a little baby mini is now in Patches' stall while we take care of a very serious eye injury. So, now Patches is hanging out with Honey Bandit pretty much 24/7. If that isn't just a picnic. About 1:30 a.m., they both decide to start playing and crashing into the walls. When Honey Bandit is laying down, Patches will go over and just bite on him and paw at him until he gets up. Then Honey Bandit gets up and takes his front leg and starts pawing on Patches back. Kind of looks like it hurts, but Patches doesn't really seem to care. Then they rear up and play, making as much noise as possible, making sure that there will be no sleep. Honey Bandit seems to get stuck more often then any other horse I have ever known. He gets cast in the fence on a semi regular basis, and doesn't seem to realize that he could simply roll over more often than not and get up by himself. There are times when he is actually cast and is halfway under a fence, but most of the time he simply needs to roll over and get up. Makes me wonder if it is a brain thing, or if he just wants me to come and "save him". Anyway, he is looking fabulous and really filling out. We want to thank all of you who are continuing to be a part of this awesome journey he is taking and helping to make it all happen. We are also enjoying all the visitors and are looking forward to seeing/meeting those of you who are coming in the near future. (We have someone coming from Alaska). That is awesome. God Bless and take care. We will be getting some more pix of him up soon. Margaret is visiting and she said she will be posting some pictures to the web soon. It is 4:00 a.m. As I sit here listening to the rain pouring down, we are in the middle of one of the worst storms I have ever seen. Every now and then you hear a big crash as the wind wreaks havoc. I thought I heard thunder, but it is the wind. There is so much power and you can feel the uncontrollable force that is all around us. It is exciting and a little bit scary. The whole carport is shaking and feels like it may just pick up and fly. This is the first real storm I have seen in the 8 years I have been in Shingletown. We had some good ones when I lived in The Poconos, but this definitely is the best, (except for the lack of thunder). When you hear and see this raw power it reminds you how little you are. (You definitely get the "real thing" when you are outside.)
I have been awake pretty much all night. Between the storm and Honey Bandit there is little chance of sleep. I still am amazed, as usually a storm like this will last an hour or so and move on. However, this has been going on all night long. The wind is howling and the rain is coming down in sheets. I don't think Honey Bandit is particularly nervous, just pretty darn mad that he hasn't been able to run. He has been getting into everything, kicking and pawing at his buckets and generally just being bored. Matt just brought us some coffee and said that the rain is driving sideways and the trees are bent over in the wind. I wonder how many trees are quietly loosing their grip on the earth and will silently crash to the ground. I worry about the other horses. Are they under the trees? Are they huddled together? I am praying that the old barn doesn't come crashing down and that the roof stays on. I know there will be mass damage from this storm, not only from the winds, but also the amounts of water. It is like the ocean is pouring onto the roof. I am going to go and get Honey Bandit some toys today. He is going nuts and if it is like this there is no chance of him going outside. I was planning on taking him out to get some exercise and then just drying him off, but this would be like taking him swimming. I am truly amazed that the power is still on. I would be surprised if everyone is that lucky. Of course, I live in a carport with a horse, so loss of power would not be the end of the world. :) We are using a propane heater, so H B will still be okay. Outside, the storm is intensifying. I wish I could keep the power it is producing. You cannot hear rain drops, only sheets of water. How lucky we were that the rains held off during the rally. Saturday people gathered in Sacramento on the capitol steps to try and raise awareness and stop the round ups. The horror stories could go on for ever. Each one about one of our beautiful mustangs that were so severely injured, died, or had to be destroyed due to the round ups. Endless stories of heartbreak as mares and stallions were ripped away from the only families they had ever know. Stories of babies watching their dad's fighting for freedom and to protect them and dying right in front of them. It is now 10:30 p.m. What a day. We spent most of it trying to avoid the massive flooding outside. I guess when you live at the bottom of the hill you get lots of run off. Our whole front yard was flooded, but Matt and the boys finally got that under control. Honey Bandit's stall (bed) was starting to flood again, but I believe we have that pretty water proof for now. So he has all fresh, dry bedding and he loves that. He also got a ball today as he has been quite bored. He did get to go outside for about 1/2 hour earlier and again for an hour or so later tonight. Now the temperature is dropping rapidly. It is cold! We did lose one of the big trees. That must have been one of the crashes. Kind of strange though, it was a cedar tree and it split and the top half fell and the trunk section is still standing. Luckily no horses were around when it happened. So although it was a nasty day weather wise, it turned out well as everyone is finally dry and hopefully we won't get so wet next time. We were lucky because Honey Bandit's stall just started getting wet in the early morning, so he suffered no side effects. He is snoring softly as he sleeps beside us. The glow of the heat lamp surrounds him and all is well. It's getting chilly as I sit here writing this. There is something so soothing about hearing horses eating. (or in this case, just listening to Honey Bandit munching steadily away.), We took some cute video tonight that shows how smart he is and how well he is doing with his training. Unfortunately, I do not know how to down load the videos yet. We can watch them on the TV or on the computer, but not sure how to get them out. Once I do, look out. Honey Bandit seems to be thriving. He is getting more and more confident, and his hearing is definitely coming back. Wouldn't say it's 100% by any means, but compared to a couple of weeks ago, it is unbelievable. He and Patches are still doing well together. It's pretty funny when HB gets "kicky or pushy", Patches just scoots up and leans against his back legs. They seem completely content just to hang out together, whether they are running and playing or just standing around munching. I guess it is a good combination to have two such wonderful "eaters" together. They have so much in common. We are working on getting every thing together for this coming weekend and the rally to stop the roundups. Terri (Farley) and I have been asked to speak, so I feel privileged to be in such great company. We are working on having a "presentable" version of Honey Bandit's CD. The plan is to be able to project it so everyone can see where he started and see the changes everyone has brought about with their love and support. Jennifer is working on that, and if it goes as planned, it will be pretty awesome. We have ordered 50 t-shirts for the this weekend. We want as many people wearing Honey Bandit's shirts as possible. They are supposed to be here on time, but one can only hope. We are also working as quickly as we can to get the carport safe enough for a temporary place for Honey Bandit until we get his real nursery. It has been in the 30's, and that can be pretty hard on a baby like him, especially when it gets so warm during the day. But he is happy and I get the feeling he knows he is loved very much, and by many. Never guess who I ran into at the gym. Nancy Hague, from the BLM. We had a very cordial conversation. She seemed very happy that Honey Bandit was doing well. She said she appreciated the letter I had written to BLM, and that I should put a link to it as they cannot post letters. So we will be posting the letter on Chilly Pepper's website if ya'll would like to read it. I wanted to make it clear that Honey Bandit's journey is not about "hating the BLM", but to make Americans realize that unless we change the laws and legislation, we will lose our horses, and continue to throw away the $74 million dollars that is being spent on the round ups and to house these horses every year. We hope to see as many of you as possible on Saturday, October 23, at the capitol. God bless everyone for all their hard work in attempting to save our beloved horses. God bless. p
Hi ya'll. Been a very long day. Started early this morning as we were fortunate enough to have a spot on BizTalk (www.biztalk1400.com) this morning. Marissa and the gang are awesome. Not sure who listens to the radio that early in the morning, but hopefully someone was. Click Me!
Took Honey Bandit out for a walk. Was going fine but he was very antsy and wanted to buck, kick and play like a happy little horse. So I put him and Patches out in the corral and they had quite a bit of fun. It seems like he is getting a little bit of his feistiness back. I think he has been a little bit more mellow the last couple of days. But he's back. He is definitely a little "striker" . He likes to rear up and strike out. I think he feels pretty darn cool because he can actually do that. He is getting pretty good about having his feet messed with with nothing on his head. He still doesn't like his "private area" messed with too much. But who can blame him. He is growing so fast and is obviously going to be a very big boy. He has the most precious little face. We are truly blessed that we found him in time and that he seems like he is going to keep on thriving, thanks to all of you and your support. We have lots of visitors and we welcome everyone. The schools are waiting for us to bring him to visit, which will happen in the near future. (Not a get out of the trailer type visit, but where he will be there where they can all see him and know first hand who they are helping). We are modifying the trailer so he will choose if he wants to come and "say hi", or if he is feeling shy he can stay back. He is incredibly smart like all the mustangs I have ever trained. He is picking up his commands quickly, and his hearing is coming back with a vengeance. It is not 100%, but definitely way improved and seems to be getting better all the time. We cannot thank you enough for all your help. He is surviving and thriving thanks to all of you, your support and prayers. Keep up the good work. Hugs Palomino and Honey Bandit. 30027 Highway 44 East Shingletown, CA 96088 530 474 5197 (I was asked to provide this info at the bottom of my updates so here it is:) ) |
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